Monday, 18 February 2013

If wishes are cycles...

Every life, without exception, has its own regrets and recognizing that is the first step to turning at least some of them into satisfying experiences.

On a bright and sunny California morning a huge package was delivered to my doorstep by Amazon and though it was a self-ordered package I could hardly contain my excitement. A couple of hours later, I sat back to take a satisfied look at my newly assembled cycle. For the next two weeks every evening I went back home from office, took my cycle to the parking lot of my apartment and taught myself how to ride. Many frustrated attempts and several falls later, a childhood wish was fulfilled and a long time regret was wiped away.

Somewhere between the large themes of our life like getting an education, relationships, jobs, marriage etc there are many small wishes that come to our minds and if unfulfilled for long enough they become our regrets, which we may often not even consciously aware of. There is tremendous satisfaction in wiping away regrets and when circumstances change with time it is often easily possible to do so. 

Often a thought or an impulse is all it takes to pick up a long forgotten wish and go after it. But if there are inhibitions or doubts that prevents one from doing that it is necessary to make a conscious effort.


Make that list: Pick up that cuppa coffee, take up a pen and paper and make a list. Choose any time of period of your life and list the strong wishes you had then. I went back to my childhood and the first item on my list was the cycle. I always wanted it as a child. It could be something as trivial as that or it could be something much bigger, perhaps the cause that you were passionate about, the trip you always wanted to do, an estranged friend that you wanted to restore peace with or anything else. Every life, without exception, has its own regrets and recognizing that is the first step to turning at least some of them into satisfying experiences.

 Check for relevance: What seems most important at one point in time might become inconsequential at a later stage. The wishes that have become obsolete are a reminder to us that it is possible to exaggerate our desires when we are fresh with an idea. It is also possible that changing circumstances can render them irrelevant. Even if it is not essential, figure out if doing it will bring satisfaction. Identifying the most relevant ones is one step closer to making them a reality. 

Stop trying to fix the blame: There can always be someone who we can choose to blame, like I could have blamed my folks for not being able to learn cycling. Perhaps as a seven year old that was a valid reason, but not as a fully grown adult. There has to be an expiry date for blame too, because our mind only has so much capacity for negative thoughts before it gets cluttered and degenerates into a toxic thought pool. 

Take action - do it!: Just go after the wish and reward yourself by fulfilling it and pump your fist in jubilation when you fulfill your wish. Watch another regret fall by the way and enhance the feeling of positivity within yourself. Do this just once in three months and at the end of that year you would have wiped off four long- standing regrets. Do it more often and you are only rewarding yourself with more positive experiences.


Despite what happens in the major areas of life, taking the time out to reward oneself with the satisfaction of positive experiences is a proof the resilience of the human spirit and often gives the positive reinforcement to our confidence and self-esteem, much needed to tackle the bigger issues we face. 

So if your wishes are something as small as cycles just get on them and ride away..